The Apparent Project Blog: Peanut Butter and Shelley

The Apparent Project Blog: Peanut Butter and Shelley

Living Favored

Watching our family pile out of the car has brought on reoccurring response.  Curious onlookers attempt to figure out how we came to be.  They may be surprised with the sheer number of our family, or the striking differences in our beautiful daughters, or they may be captured by the joyful sound of Sebee’s giggle.  When they hear our story, that our family was brought together through adoption, that two of our children survived the earthquake in Haiti and were allowed to come home to their forever family, we often hear, “they are so lucky”…or…”bless you for taking them in”…or…”what you are doing is so great.”

We chuckle and smile and know that those gazing at us from the outside could never really know that we don’t feel lucky or great.  Our family, like all families, has splendid highs and horrible lows.  Peering into our home at any given moment may give you a glimpse at kids grappling over Buzz Lightyear or Pinkalicious one minute and hugging and giggling with each other the next.  The clatter around our table brings a daily reminder of the blessings we share.  Our life may not be what others would choose, the volume, the vigor, the enthusiasm, but we trust in the good God has planned for us.

Recently, in a loud discussion with my 10 year old, she expressed how difficult it has been trying to sort out all of the feelings she has from sibling rivalry to longing to visit the country of her birth to the struggle of living in a family with boundaries.  As she told me of all the conflicting matters on her heart, my heart softened and as I held her we talked about how she is so dearly loved.  And as the realization seared my core, I cried out how sorry I was.  My heart was breaking with how much my precious sweet daughter has had to face, and how what she is feeling is real and raw and out of nothing that she has done. 

She has never had choices.

She didn’t choose her mother’s womb.  She didn’t choose the dire situation she was born into.  She didn’t choose to leave the mother she knew to live in an orphanage when she was just six years old.  She didn’t choose to go to sleep each night for nearly three years without parents to tuck her in, scared and alone and without hope for her future.  She didn’t choose to come and be with her forever family.  She never had choices…the decisions were made for her…she had to just trust in those around her that the choices they made would bring about something good.

When the angel Gabriel came to Mary to announce to her how she would bear God’s son, he first told her not to be afraid, that she had been favored by God.  She could have responded with fear or anger or stubbornly said no, but instead, she said, “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Luke 1:38

Mary didn’t have a choice. The decision had been made for her. With the help of Elizabeth, Mary was able to understand the great blessing she has been bestowed as Elizabeth told her, “Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her.” Luke 1:45

Then Mary praised God and was grateful for her position.  “My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.” Luke 1:46

In the midst of the unknown and possible difficult future, Mary was grateful for her favor.

The details of our lives may not be as magnificent as Mary’s or as gut wrenching as an abandoned child or as juvenile as sibling rivalry, but the circumstances we find ourselves in may bring about some of those very same emotions…did we get to choose?  How will we respond?

God has chosen you…He has given you this day, this opportunity, this journey and how you respond is up to you. 

Trust that God will bring about something good, living grateful for each breath, every moment, the ordinary and the grand, praising God and living favored.

Seeing would be easier

My 5 year old came to me tonight and said, "I want to see Jesus.  I want to touch him."  I asked her "why?"  She replied that it would be easier if she could just see Jesus, ask him questions, show him her newly pierced ears, and give him a hug goodnight. 

In her simplistic view, my daughter was able to put into words what we have all thought in those moments of uncertainty....we understand that God has a plan for us, one that is bigger than we can imagine, but it would be so much easier if we could just know what the plan is!  It is far easier to trust the plan if we could know it will all work out.  How many hours have been spent worrying about tomorrow?  How many times has doubt dribbled in leaving us weakened and confused about the plan?  When the unknown gets in the way of living to the fullest, worry takes over, fear takes hold, and anxiety over what might happen takes control. 

Jesus knew we would have these moments.  While teaching one day, he addressed those of us who are prone to worry.  “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? So do not worry, saying, “What shall we eat?” or “What shall we drink?” or “What shall we wear?  But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”  Matthew 6:27, 31, 33

It is as though Jesus wants us to understand that we have today to seek him and all other things will fall away.  We may not understand the timing or method or how difficult the task may be, but we can rest without doubt with these reassuring words of Jesus, “Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God, trust also in me.” John 14:1

My daughters request was for an easier way but as Mother Teresa once said, "Following Jesus is simple, not easy".  Trust that the path He has put before you is right where you are to be.